whatthfuck.

please people, dont provoke me now. my cramps is killing me. fuck man. argh!!! cant stand it. i will pop 10 millions pain killer t ease th pain after i finish this fucking post. sighs, its monday alr. 2 more days t going t school. wonder where will i end up in. hahahas, i really hope t get into th same school as yingshuang so that at th very least i have someone whom i know in th same school and we can meet and go school together on th first day!! i havent got my school bag and shoes. ): might be using my old bag first while waiting for NUM t stock up their bagback. really hope i can cope w JC. like 9 out of 10 people say JC is tough etc and keep giving negative and sarcastic comments. oh fuck man. just shut up and FUUUUUUCK OFF. everyone know its hard. stop saying things like 'oh, i think you should choose poly instead' or 'oh, you choose JC? goodluck then.' . i just hate people who give negative comments on my decision. yeah, i'm like that. dont like it? dont be my friend then. i dont give a damn. i just dont like people t comment on me. i mean like cant you just shut up and keep comments t yourself. by keep negative stuffs t yourself can save people from unhappiness okay! whatever! im not in a good mood now. and kaixin is making things worse. she keep crying since morning and thank god she's asleep now, like finally.

and im pissed over another issue. sometimes i really think you guys dont regard me as your friend so why should i actually help t celebrate any of your birthday when no one even take th initiative t plan a celebration for mine. i dont expect much. even if its just a meal or just one mini one in school. im fine w anything as long as you have th heart t do it. i cant believe you all gave th excuse like ' who tell you t yours w SHANQI they all.' so now its my fault for not celebrating my birthday? i really feeel so pissed/sad when i heard that. i will feel so much better if you say something like probably 'oh, we are too busy w school work.' i will definitely feel like few millions times better than NOW. but now it seems like its a serve you right for celebrating w others thing. yeah, i know my birthday is over for like so fucking long. but i just cant stand it any longer. its like for any one of your birthday, one of you will come and ask me how t plan it or if i want t share cost for th present. it will only cause me t be upset and wonder what am i. so what if im not very close t you guys anymore. its not as if im th only one that is drifting apart from you guys. example, katharine's been more close w baoxuan, shereen and co. sharmain's been closer w chloe and co. everyone have their another group of friends too what. why can they be excused and not me. i really dont understand. they celebrated their birthday w others too. and you all actually make a point t celebrate after their birthdays after th actual day. FUCK! dont blame me for drifting away from you guys and getting closer t 9some. so what if we only know each other for like 2years? we still make it a point t celebrate everyone's birthday t be fair and even celebrate gary and wenliang's birthday tgt w rouying during our chalet although theirs are like so freaking long ago. and only after this incident, i realise how insignificant am i to all of you. okay, enough of complaining. fyi, im not here t ask for any belated celebration or anything. i dont need it. okay, forget it. idk why am i feeling so pissed off right now over incident that happened more than half a year ago i dont think anyone will understand how i feel right now too! bye.