Transformation

I am on my way t church now for Sunday service.. Guess it's because I haven't been updating my diary hence many thoughts have been going through my head. Just feel like pening them down. (Okay in this case, typing them out) 

Even since I started t attend Sunday service and CG meeting weekly, I have been reflecting a lot on how I have been leading my life so far.. And how I can change t be someone better. 

Idk if it's pure coincident or it's really God's arrangement, we have been touching on topics that are really relatable t me. It seems like everything we talk about is something I'm struggling w. All th bad habits that I want t get rid of for th past years.. 

Like for example, Afew weeks ago. We were discussing about how Jesus saved everyone regardless of their sins. He never judge. And we should never too. Judging people has been something I'm struggling w. I know it's never right t judge. It's wrong even if we judge in our heart. But I judge even before i get t know someone. 

So, right after that session, I told myself okay, I should really stop. But  then... Few days later I realise I start criticizing people and all. URGH feel like slapping myself. I want t change but then I failed all th time. TSK. 

This brings us t th topic we discussed 2 weeks ago.. Do everyone deserve a second chance t change? Do I deserve another chance t change despite failing so many times? I remember very clearly I told my CG members that I feel that everyone deserve a chance t change. we should never doubt their ability t. However, yesterday I was pretty furious about a friend and I tweeted ' A leopard never changes its spots' see! Am I contradicting myself?!?? I don't even give people a chance t change, how do I expect people t give me that chance t.. Now t think about it, I realise it is really difficult t kick off all th bad habits and change.. Change needs time. And we should give people time t change.. 

I'm really thankful for all th things taught in church and my CG. I can see a slight change in myself. I learned t be more thankful for things around me, I will try not t talk back t my parents as much as possible, I will put myself in other's shoes and try t think in different perspectives.. 

I really hope I will be transformed into someone better and lead a happier and fruitful life. (: